Giving up

You are going to get angry. You’ll still explode and say or do things you regret even though you’ve decided you want to stop. You’re a work in progress. A journey, not a destination. Taking responsibility and wanting to change is an important first step.

But, you can’t let a set back be an excuse to stop. Then you are still addicted to anger, using one mistake as justification for going back to your old habits. Giving up is an excuse to be lazy. Why try when you’re just going to end up back where you started? But the only other option is to go back to losing your temper all the time. To the endless cycle of exploding and feeling bad, vowing you’ll never get angry again until the next time you explode.

So, don’t make it all or nothing. Acknowledge that you will get angry again, just make sure that each time is less explosive. Maybe you start out by only being able to count to 2 before you explode but with practice you can make it to ten and before you know it, you’re exploding less.

Calling yourself a failure is an excuse to give up, a signal you didn’t really want to change in the first place. Focus on incremental change and you’ll be surprised how far you can get.